National Children's Grief Awareness Week - November 2020

Whether it involves the loss of a friend, relative or even a treasured family pet, grief and loss are something that many young people will experience. It can be hard to know what to say to a child in your care, especially if you are also affected by the loss. 2020 has been a year where this has been brought into even sharper perspective, and many of us have dealt with grief in some form.

When One-Eighty staff started working with ‘T’, his Mum shared that he was often waking in the night and wanting to sleep in her bed. She was concerned that he was very anxious and this was disrupting the ability for them both to achieve a healthy sleep routine.

One-Eighty started by offering a regular space in sessions for ‘T’ to share his worries alongside practising some mindfulness strategies. After a few sessions, ‘T’ explained that after his Nan had died, he sometimes heard his Mum crying at night and this was why he had started to get up at night so he could make sure she was okay. Mum thought that ‘T’ had handled Nan’s death extremely well and hadn’t even considered this might be a factor.

After the session ‘T’ asked his Mum if they could look at some pictures of his Nan and this opened up the opportunity for them both to share their feelings and enjoy some happy memories of the time they had spent together as a family.

It’s not always easy to recognise what help your young person might need; when ‘J’s’ dog died, one of the One-Eighty case team spent some time putting together a workbook he could fill in with memories and facts. When his Mum encouraged him to fill it in, ‘J’ became angry and ripped the book apart; it was just too soon for him to reflect on the good times without it being too painful for him to manage. Try to meet your child wherever they are with their feelings, and don’t forget to normalise it by sharing your own experiences.

It’s helpful to remember that grief may always be part of life after a child has lost someone important to them. Many children and teens report that they are helped by meeting and speaking to others who have experienced bereavement, and this can be an ongoing process of support. Try noticing how your child responds to important dates such as birthdays and anniversaries, and talk to them about how to keep their lost loved one present in any celebrations.

If you would like some more advice about how to talk to your child about their grief, please download our information sheet below.