The Power of Praise
Praise is when you tell someone that you like what they are doing or how they are doing it. You can also praise someone for just being them!
“What a great drawing Freya!”
“I like how you kept going and didn’t give up, good job!”
“You’re amazing!”
Praise nurtures a child’s confidence and sense of self; through using praise you are modelling to your child how to think and talk positively about themselves.
Not all praise is equal - some forms of praise are much more powerful and impactful. Saying “well done” or “good job” is OK but being more specific and detailed with praise will help your child to understand exactly what it is they have done well. For example, “I really like how you took your shoes off and put them away, thank you” is more genuine and will likely result in the behaviour being repeated than if you use phrases such as “well done” or “good boy.”
Praising for effort has also been proven to help children develop resilience. “You worked really hard on your homework and didn’t give up, well done” rather than only praising for tasks that are completed. This will motivate a child to do their best.
You can also use praise to encourage your child - “show me how well you can tidy your room, I know you’ll do it brilliantly” or “I know how much effort you have put in to learning your times tables so I’m sure you will do great in the test.”
Sometimes it is easier to notice difficult behaviours but what you pay attention to is what you get more of, so using praise is a really good way to shift your focus to the positive things that are happening. By doing this, you and your child will feel more positive and as a result they will start showing you more of the positive behaviours you want to see.
Top tips for using praise:
Notice the small things your child does and tell them it makes you feel happy/ pleased/ proud.
Praise can be non-verbal too. A smile, a hug, a high five, a thumbs up can all signal to your child that what they have done is positive.
Notice small changes in behaviour rather than waiting for them to get it completely right - no-one is perfect.
Praise more than you criticise. To build positive self-esteem children should be hearing 8 positive comments to every 1 ‘I don’t like it when you do…’ comment.
Keep praise realistic. If you go too over the top about something relatively small they might not believe you.
Judge it by your child’s reaction. Some children love being praised in public, some couldn’t think of anything worse. If your child doesn’t like being praised in front of others, remember to praise them once you are alone.
Have fun praising…. it really makes a difference!